There are so many things about you that remind me of my young self, one of which is being always surrounded by friends. I wanted my everyday life full of people: I needed the laughter, the noise, the freedom, the fun, the energy, the connection, the companionship, the belonging.
I also needed to hear people’s stories as much as I needed mine to be heard.
And yes, I needed to be friends with everyone in a good way and also in a weird way (Wanting everyone feel comfortable and everyone to like me, I needed approval and affirmation).
Being all of that was not easy, it can be a trap. I had my mom listen to my stories many times so I could make sense of what I was feeling and experiencing. My mom was and still is, my safe place.
So today, my wish for you is that you also find your safe place, and I pray that I can be one for you.
Safe places are so imperative in any stage of life and I want to make sure you always have few to run to as you run this race called life (just kidding, life is not a race).
A safe place is somewhere you know you can go to when you’re in pain, when you’re worried, sad or feel disconnected. You can hide there when you’re freaking out and not making much sense of what is happening, you could also pickup the phone and call that person to just vent or share something embarrassing knowing you won’t be judged and that said person won’t share anything with anyone against you. In a safe place you know you can cry or yell and still know that you'l be held.
A safe place can be someone you don’t talk to often and still know that
your heart is welcomed there. It can be someone with whom you share values and faith but also can be someone that can seem very different to who you are and still holds you dear.
You will know your safe place because you won’t feel anxious or observed or nervous that you’ll disappoint them for what you wear, what you say or who you hang out with.
A safe place feels…well, safe.
Calm, quiet, restful, peaceful.
No triggers, no harsh words, no mean texts.
And I wish that for you, but here’s the secret to find it: you have to be that safe place for everyone around you. That’s the beauty of it all. Becoming someone’s safe place means you’ll love on them unceasingly:
You’ll encourage
You’ll forgive
You’ll give space
You’ll show mercy
You’ll keep secrets
You’ll be graceful
You’ll extend compassion
Friendships are a lot of work. Some are easier than others. Some are to keep forever but others will be in your life just for a short time.
You actually don’t need a million friends like I used to think when I was little, but we all need to learn to be a good friend cause that is the only way we will be able to live our most beautiful lives.
Go find your safe place in beautiful amazing friends that are already out there, figuring friendships out too. Be that place for them. Hold each other, show up for each other.
I adore you with all I am. I am proud of who you are. I see you feeling big feelings and I am honoured that you allow me to be near. I pray our bond is always strong and that you remember that the safest place on earth will always be God, He’ll give you power and wisdom to figure life out, and please remember I am here ready to hold you tight.
My heart explodes with love for you,
Mom
Te amo eternamente, Mami.
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