Raising our three kids in Canada, as a Mexican-Venezuelan family, I've learned to embrace their Canadian identity, even if it means they're more maple leaf than mariachi. I can experience this by the way they dress, the national anthem they’ve heard more often, their friendships, their social codes, their behaviour, the language of their choice, the music they listen to, the landscapes that they grew up looking at everyday, their social interactions, etc. I can’t deny Canadian culture prevails. I can’t fight it.
We still eat picadillo and tacos at home, we have ensalada de manzana on Christmas Eve and pastel de 3 leches on my birthday but I can’t pretend that they connect with Mexico more than they do with Canada.
I've always wanted my children to love and appreciate Mexico, to feel a deep sense of pride and respect for their mother's country. But as they grow up, I'm coming to realize that our cultural identities are more complex than I initially thought. I now understand that their experiences and perspectives will be shaped by their unique blend of Mexican and Canadian roots, plus I am so proud of their lineage, they speak fluent Spanish (yes, with an accent!) and they love molletes with pico de Gallo.
When people leave their homeland, a part of them remains behind, lost in the distance between their old and new lives. This displacement can be a source of profound grief, as they mourn the loss of their familiar surroundings, cultural identity, and sense of belonging. They quickly have to incorporate a second culture and aren’t "as Mexican" (or Venezuelan or Colombian, etc.) as those who stayed back home anymore, this might be a controversial opinion but those back home are the "true" Mexicans, because they continue to live the culture’s authenticity every minute with every move: music, interactions, social issues, responsibilities, economy, risks, benefits, etc.
When I left Mexico I had the goal of raising my kids 100% latinos and I thought that speaking spanish at home and cooking mexican dishes for dinner would be all I needed, until they started growing up and having their own mind, opinions and choices, I found myself recalculating and to really understand that it’s not up to me. I was glad that I pushed for the spanish to be spoken at home but even to this day I tease my oldest saying I failed as a Mexican mom when he chooses to eat tacos with ketchup over onion, cilantro, lime and salsa! (Who wouldn’t prefer that?)
Imposing my culture would hurt my relationship with them and probably that could build a barrier or rejection towards me or my hometown.
So for me, as long as they love Mexico, their Mexican family and continue to embrace everything that my country means, I can be proud for bringing this piece of who I am into their lives. I know they will think of me whenever they listen to mariachi at some random place or when they see someone dancing cumbia, I know they will smile cause they’ll feel connected and somewhat experience home, they will be able to connect with that to a level that only the children of a Mexican mom would understand and that will be enough for my heart to smile too.
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